it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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