My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
