im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
