overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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