the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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