How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
