OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
