i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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