): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she told me i tasted like america
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
