I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
