so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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