I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
