I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
