I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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