rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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