I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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