Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
