What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
