that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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