You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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