I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
