also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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