At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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