What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
