Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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