yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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