he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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