You made me cry and you don't even care
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
