I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
