some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
