this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
