So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
