There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
