NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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