I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it was like eating out sand paper
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
