I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
