she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
