dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
