Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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