Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
