Your tits are I can't wait for
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
