I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
