I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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