She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
