So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
