i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
