just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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