I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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