Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
