You smell like a Billy Joel song
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
