I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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