So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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