hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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